If It Wasn't for Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck at All.

I need something else in my life to break please.

My iPod needs to be reset every 3-4 days because of the sound quality. Instead of music I hear crackles and pops played very slowly to something I think might be Glee's cover of "Bad Romance."

My cell phone's interior and exterior screens are now just alternate between black and white.

Neither my cell phone nor my iPod are more than 13 months old.

My alarm clock just stopped working. No problem, there's an alarm clock on my cell phone...right...

My dog broke his leash. The new leash cost $30. Good thing they pay teachers so well.

I just bought a very expensive and much desired book. Even though it is brand new, when I first opened it, the spine and glue fell apart. The store proprietor gave me an attitude when I tried to return it.

I couldn't use a 25% off coupon at the university bookstore because the woman was more interested in closing shop than helping me find a book. By the way, the university bookstore has no literary criticism section but does have an English Department. I now hate bookstores and new books.

I also got a ticket last week for running a YELLOW light. $186 dollars for doing something legal in which nobody was hurt, and nobody even slammed on brakes. I was the only guy in the intersection when the light was YELLOW!

This is the third time I have tried to post this, because the blog (and universe) are menage a trois-ing my behind.

I would like for bad shit to stop happening to me now, please.

Disappointed

Yesterday a 1/4 cent sales tax referendum was defeated in my county. This tax would have been on non-grocery items. This tax would have raised approximately 2 million dollars a year for a youth community center and multiple jobs. It was defeated because people are very, very small-minded and greedy.

Most of this money would have come from tourists, people. Tourists! Good job shooting yourself in the foot, guys.

A quarter-cent tax means that on every $4000 dollars you spend on non-grocery items, 10 of those dollars would be for taxes. Is that too much to ask to help our children, to create jobs? Obviously it is.

Understand, that I do not make a lot of money. I live paycheck to paycheck. I have no savings. I really have no business throwing away my money. But some things are more important than me. I would rather my community have a recreation center for youth and more jobs than an extra 30-40 dollars in the bank at the end of the year.

I am tired of people. They are selfish and ignorant. Some taxes should be removed. Sometimes government does waste our money. This was not one of those times. This was an example of blind conservatives voting against taxes becasue "Taxes are evil and socialist." We could have done something great and lasting for our community by giving about 10 bucks a year, but instead we indignantly cried foul and continued to covet our insignificant money.

So, when a kid puts graffiti up on the side of your business instead of playing basketball at a community center, take comfort in that extra 10 bucks in your wallet. When your friend with a degree in recreational studies moves in with his mom because there are no jobs for him, consider loaning him some of that immense fortune you saved by voting down this referendum.

Instead of spending your 10 dollars on those stupid "Don't Tread on Me" flags and bumper stickers, you could have built a community center. Instead of spending 10 bucks on another large pizza and accruing more and more heart disease, you could have created jobs. Do I really live in a community that cares more about 10 stinkin' dollars than it does people? Yes, yes I do.

So hide behind your conservative ideals all you want. In the end, you are nothing but selfish and deserve the world riddled with juvenile crime and unemployment you have created.

Why, Clash of the Titans, why?

I hate 3D movies.

Well, I hate 3D glasses which means I can not enjoy 3D movies.

I watched Up this sumer with my mom. We paid two dollars more for the ticket, and did not have the option of watching a standard, non-3D, version.

The glasses we were given were similar to the cheaply made plastic sunglasses you can buy at a gas station for a dollar. The 3D glasses did not fit over my regular prescription glasses, and they were too big to fit under them. I could not watch the 3D effects comfortably.

I decided to take the glasses off and just miss out on the 3D effects, but when the movie went 3D, the screen was fuzzy and red and blue lines surrounded the pictures on the screen. I had to choose between watching a movie while wearing uncomfortable glasses, or watching a movie that looked like a broken carousel.

Please, Hollywood, find a solution for those of us who wear prescription glasses. I am so excited about the new Clash of the Titans, which has been moved back one week to be 3D-ized. However, I dread suffering through that film with 3D glasses.

Yum!

My roommate has an incredible talent for cooking. He came up with this dish on his own. It's very unique, tasty, and with a serving of cous cous only 550 calories. Curry coconut kale chicken tastes as good as it may or may not sound.

Happy Fat Tuesday!

So, what am I indulging in today? None of your business! (It's not that interesting anyway, but for you curious souls, let's just say it rhymes with hard drugs and hookers.)

Well, what are you giving up for Lent? I am going to abstain from eating...pizza. There, I said it, no taking it back now.

Is it Easter yet? What, 40 days? Sigh...

Winter Olympics Boone, NC 2010

My roommate and I just had a great idea: the Appalachian Region should host the 2010 Winter Olympics. We have way more snow than they do, and since I may never go to school again I could help organize. Let's pack all the athletes up and send them south!

By the way, Weather Channel, do not follow the same path as MTV. Remember when you could actually watch music videos on MTV? If video killed the radio star then reality TV killed the music video. Damn you, Real World and Jersey Shore.

Anyway, I was trying to watch the Local on the 8's yesterday but couldn't. The Weather Channel had some shows on all day like Storm Stories and Cantorre's Story or some junk like that. Weather Channel, would it be possible for you to give me a local forecast as opposed to a show about the weather in Vancouver? If I want to know what the weather's doing in Vancouver, I can watch the Olympics on NBC.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone, except...

Zales, Jared, Kay, you are all on notice.


The thing I hate the most about the Christmas-Valentine's Day holidays is the onslaught of diamond commercials. What a crock.


So, apparently, you don't love your significant other if you don't buy them things, and if you are a man, you can not show love in any more magnificent a way than to buy a diamond.


Who made up this rule? I'd like to treat them to a dinner for two; entree: knuckle sandwiches.


So this rock is rare and shiny. Big deal, so are my grandma's bowel movements. Why must I be forced to buy? Can you imagine an American male proposing to someone without a diamond ring? What, doesn't he love her? Well, that immense amount of money could be spent on infinitely better purchases: honeymoon extravagances, house, college for adults or kids, future vacations, comic books!


So, if you have ever been involved with any of this diamond nonsense, you've been warned!

An introduction...

I've always thought about starting a blog, but I have never had the time. That's not really true. I've had plenty of time; I'm just a world-class procrastinator. Luckily, for all of you, I have watched about all of the cable television and read all of the comic books I can stand during this epic winter. When you wonder what would happen if Gordon Ramsey cussed out the Incredible Hulk, you may need to look for new hobbies. I need something else to do.


Also, as always, there's a girl involved. She has a blog too, and I'm trying to impress her.


Plus, I may become one of those ridiculously interesting people who gets rich writing a blog; however, I didn't read the terms of agreement and am sure that everything I type belongs to Google. Oh well.


In reality, I'm sure you"ll marvel at how bad my tastes in TV and movies are, and get angry at me when I rant about politics. Should be a good time for everyone. In the words of the great Doctor Who, "Allons-y!"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNH8qub_vI